yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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