just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
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