bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
