when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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