Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
