Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
