Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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