marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
