Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
