i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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