i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
