But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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