Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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