I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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