I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
