wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well you can't waste a boner
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
