I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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