Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
