I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
