i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize