I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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