there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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