is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
