spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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