Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
...so i touched it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
