yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
