just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
NoShamevember. You game?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Two words: blizzard sex
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
