It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
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