But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
