I need help removing her.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
