i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
