i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
