I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
