i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
