I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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