u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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