ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
