Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
