I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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