make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
