You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
my liver is dry heaving
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Randomize
