Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
