Your face is a jimmy john
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
