Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
