Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
