her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
