What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
