She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
okay pat passed out under dana's car
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
