dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
