Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize