I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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