Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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