Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
