Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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