somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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