Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
