We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
