She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
