Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
