you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize