I can tuck mytits in my pants
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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