Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
