I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
