Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have post one night stand depression
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