If i come over, it means nothing
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
