i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
