it's like russian roulette but with a penis
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
