So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize