There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
