when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
