your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
