i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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