Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
