Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
foreskin is a definite game changer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
