whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
