I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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