I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My penis needs a shock collar
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
