Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
