Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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