I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's blow job season.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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